Doc, I think I may have messed up with my 28-year-old child.
“He still lives with us, he hasn’t worked in months, but he’s getting really good at ‘Call of Duty.’ What can we do?”
I get these calls all the time. Here’s my response.
(First of all, don’t call me “Doc” unless your name is Wyatt Earp.)
Often, the adult/child has some sort of substance abuse issues, but, other times, the kid just likes to hang out.
Now, why would a 28-year-old choose to do nothing all day? Why would a young person act like they have no drive or motivation? My potentially offensive answer: Why do male dogs enjoy licking themselves? Because they CAN.
So, my belief is that you, the parents, have created this “Frankenstein Who Reclines.”
I get it: Extenuating circumstances have occurred. S/he lost the job, the former roommate stole from him/her, s/he was in credit card debt and was just going to live in the basement until the debt disappeared, the boss picked on him/her and fired him/her for no reason.
The history of why the Golden Child is on your couch isn’t important.
The question is, “What can we do NOW?”
How can we fix a “failure to launch” issue? What can you, as loving parents, do differently? Is there a secret to getting the Golden Child out of your basement and into the real world? Yes, and it is a straightforward, pragmatic and life-changing system.
I have a custom-designed Three Point Plan that is tailored to fit your particular needs:
1. Stop enabling him or her.
2. Stop enabling him or her.
3. Stop enabling him or her.
To do this is simple, but very, very difficult. Let me help you launch your baby into the real world. To paraphrase my favorite toy store, Home Depot, “You can do it, I can help.”