List of Lists (in no particular order unless stated otherwise) Top Five Guitarists Clapton during his heroin years Carlos Santana Pete Townsend Hendrix during his "whatever-he-could-get" years Frank Zappa Things My (Now) Twelve Year Old Can Do That Are Astounding! She can crack her knuckles.in her toes! She can do a one handed cartwheel, hold a drink in one hand and not spill it! She can bend her thumb down to forearm! She can curl her tongue with two folds! Her elbows are double-jointed! She can sound like she is locked in a closet just by talking with her lips closed! Reasons Parents Show Up In My Office With Complaints About Their Child They are not strict enough with their children. They are not strict enough with their teenagers. They try to be friends with their kids. They don't have real authority over their kids. They have sought the approval of their children, and either succeeded or failed. Helpful Grooming Tips For Men Over 35 Trim any hair protruding outside of your nostrils. It is time to switch from briefs to boxers, if you haven't already done so. Trim eyebrow hairs that are over an inch long. Fact: There are no viable comb-over techniques. And, of course, trim your ear hairs. Best TV Shows Ever Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm ER Hill Street Blues Entourage Sopranos Flipper Worst Parts of Fatherhood Getting up early in the morning. Getting up in the middle of the night. Bending over to get the children in and out of car seats. Battling to keep your weight under 300 pounds because you need to finish everything on your kid's plate in order to not waste food and help save the environment. Trying to not curse in front of them. Having to put your kid on a men's public bathroom toilet seat. My Favorite Therapists Murray Bowen Jay Haley Salvador Minuchin Virginia Satir Chloe Madanes Milton Erikson Things Kids Do That Are Normal and Not Worthy of a Diagnosis They have lots of energy. They are curious. They make mistakes. They are self-centered. They have dramatic mood swings. They are impulsive. How to be clean and sober: Stop drinking and/or do drugs Don't change any thing else about yourself, cross your fingers and hope for instant happiness How to be in recovery from addiction: Don't drink or do drugs Go to meetings Have a sponsor Talk to the sponsor Have a list of numbers to call Call people in the program when in crisis Call people in the program when not in crisis Hang out with people in recovery Work on a specific step Have a home group Read the literature Go to meetings early and stay late Pray and meditate Become honest with yourself Become honest with others Do service work Actively work on gaining more spirituality Reach out to newcomers Sponsor somebody Work on other issues: nicotine, $, sex, food, TV, work, and anything else that blocks you from feelings/spirituality. Best Stephen King Movie Adaptations (in ascending order)        4. The Shining        3. The Green Mile        2. Stand By Me        1. The Shawshank Redemption History of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Which Psychiatry/Psychology/Drug Companies Use to Make Diagnoses First Edition (1918): 106 Disorders, 130 Pages Second Edition (1968): 182 Disorders, 134 Pages Third Edition (1980): 265 Disorders, 494 Pages Fourth Edition (1994): 374 Disorders, 880 Pages Fifth Edition, due in 2012..500 Disorders? Are there really that many new ways for people to act like there is something wrong with them, or, are the Pharmaceutical Companies really that good at politics? The Best Bedtime Book To Read To A Child: Goodnight Gorilla

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