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Relationships: Intimate vs. DysfunctionalFrom a handout of Onsite Workshops (www.onsiteworkshops.com), with additional information from Dr. Gore. |
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INTIMATE
Peers. Mutuality. Choice. Freedom. Desire to share needs and feelings. Relationship always changing. I want to be there. I try to balance "alone time" with "together time" I begin with me (self). I want. I feel. Initiator... I take care of me. I am solely responsible for figuring out what I need and communicate it to you. Sex is an important part of how two people connect. I will let you see all of me. Relationship deals with things as they come along. My dedication to you is based on my true interest in your spiritual path, even if it takes you away. Love is always an act of self-love. Relationship deals with reality. |
DYSFUNCTIONAL
Power differential. Imbalance. Loss of choice. Compulsion "No talk" rule, especially if things are not working out. Relationship is always the same. I have to be there. I am with my partner all the time or we hardly see each other (and when we do we are involved in other activities). I begin with you. You change. You make me feel. Reactor... You will know what is right for me. You will fix it. Sex is almost non-existent or occurs without any true connection. I will only show you the parts of me I want you to see. Relationship uses denial to deal with things. Your spiritual growth doesn't count. Love is wanting someone to love me at all costs. Relationship is based on delusion, often on what "could" be. |