Relationships: Intimate vs. Dysfunctional
From a handout of Onsite Workshops (www.onsiteworkshops.com), with additional information from Dr. Gore.
|Loss of choice.
|Desire to share needs and feelings.
|"No talk" rule, especially if things are not working out.
|Relationship always changing.
|Relationship is always the same.
|I want to be there.
|I have to be there.
|I try to balance "alone time" with "together time"
|I am with my partner all the time or we hardly see each other (and when we do we are involved in other activities).
|I begin with me (self). I want. I feel. Initiator…
|I begin with you. You change. You make me feel. Reactor…
|I take care of me. I am solely responsible for figuring out what I need and communicate it to you.
|You will know what is right for me. You will fix it.
|Sex is an important part of how two people connect.
|Sex is almost non-existent or occurs without any true connection.
|I will let you see all of me.
|I will only show you the parts of me I want you to see.
|Relationship deals with things as they come along.
|Relationship uses denial to deal with things.
|My dedication to you is based on my true interest in your spiritual path, even if it takes you away.
|Your spiritual growth doesn’t count.
|Love is always an act of self-love.
|Love is wanting someone to love me at all costs.
|Relationship deals with reality.
|Relationship is based on delusion, often on what "could" be.