Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

From a handout of Onsite Workshops (, with additional information from Dr. Gore.

Telling all

Talking at an intimate level at the first meeting

Falling in love with a new acquaintance

Falling in love with anyone who reaches out

Being overwhelmed by a person-preoccupied

Acting on the first sexual impulse

Being sexual for your partner, not yourself

Going against personal rights or values to please others

Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries

Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries

Not noticing when others react negatively to your behaviors

Accepting food, gifts, touch or sex that you don’t want

Touching a person without asking

Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting

Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving

Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you

Letting others direct your life

Letting others describe your reality

Letting others define you

Believing others can anticipate your needs

Expecting others to fill your needs automatically

Falling apart so someone will take care of you


Sexual and physical abuse

Food and chemical abuse